Just a twitch of the eye will do wonders for this part.
Squint your eyes and gaze around suspiciously as though someone will ruin your day. This works well at work or family gatherings.
All of us are. Nothing makes us laugh quite like being reminded of our own mortality, right? Excellent for social gatherings, this.
What they believed was a simple query has become a massive secret meant only for select listeners.
They will be surprised for a moment before bursting into laughter at your hilariously shocking formality.
Do not rush your decision; take a moment to reflect before you even consider turning and walking away. Don't give anything away.
For the most authentic response, pretend you're an Italian gangster hitman and ask in their dialect.
If you're talking to a coworker, you can also state that it's against policy.
Tell them you were in for a regular checkup and everything is great when they inevitably give you that look of concern.
In a sexual tone, this joke really shines and can serve as an icebreaker (or fire things up right away).
You should be compensated handsomely for sharing such useful knowledge.